The Lipstick Bitch

I was getting the brakes on my car replaced a few weeks, which forced me to drive the truck. Ya, know, the one I like to drive over raised flower beds? Yeah, so anyway, I had to drive it to school. Since I didn't have time to drive by the campus police station to get a temp permit before class, I parked in some free parking a few blocks over and hoofed it to my building. (You don't dare park on campus without a permit, lest the Nazi's will be on you like crows on roadkill) So after my first class, I moved the truck into the parking lot. Now, parking on campus is hard to come by, especially at certain times of day. When I moved the truck at 3:30, most of the day students are finished,so finding a spot is easy. It gets harder as 6pm rolls around and all the night classes start. It is not uncommon for people to "make" their own spaces along the outside aisle of the lot. That's generally not a big deal if I'm driving my little Hyundai. However, I need a whole lotta room to swing out the F-150 Supercrew (that I suck at parking and manuevering in general!). You know happened. Some dumbass decided to park me in. And of all things, the "NO PARKING" sign was right behind his car. Of course it was a dark and rainy night....but I was fortunate enough to have some kind fellow trying to help me get out of the space. It was a lot of back, turn , pull up, cut it, pull forward, and so on until I was about 2 inches from the Mustang off my nose and 3 inches from the Cavalier that had me blocked in. At that point, I gave up, pulled in and decided to call the campus police to have the bastard towed. I thanked the poor, wet, Samaritan who had been trying to help me. Just then, the girl parked across from came out and left! Yay! I could now pull through and escape! But not before taking my lipstick to the windows of the idiot who parked me in. In nice reverse letters, I wrote "No parking dumbass" across his windshield. I'm sure it was a lovely sight when he turned on his wipers to clear the rain!